Managing My Time
One of the problems I have always had is managing my time and choosing what is most important. I’ve read books and tried several different methods. Although I may have had some success, I did not persist. I always seemed to get off track and get involved in less important things. Being a workaholic, I felt a constant urgency to get everything done right now. This robbed me of my peace of mind and prevented me from relaxing.
I had a major heart attack in April, ’04, and I am now disabled. I was partially retired before the attack. I was working part-time for a mail contractor. Suddenly I found myself with more time available then I’ve had since I was a kid. You’d think that having all of this time would be wonderful and it is, but adjusting to it without knowing exactly what I am able to do physically has been a challenge.
One Sunday afternoon I had a session with the Lord about this. I was really frustrated and I finally asked Him for help after attempting to go it alone for all these years. What’s wrong with this picture? It seems I didn’t go to Him with my problems in the beginning of most endeavors. I always gave it my best shot first. Only when difficulties arose would I ask for His help. He told me to write down all the things I was concerned about doing.
The list looked like this:
· Internet business – eBay, garage sale, drop ship company search, computer work · The Genesis Project web site
· Book studies
He then told me to put them in priority order. I noticed right away I left two things out, God and Barbara my soul mate. We both laughed about that. He then told me to separate what was work from the rest. (I have had an Internet business since 1998 which I consider work). The business turned out to be the smallest thing on the list. So He said, “Looks like work should take the shortest part of your day.” I agreed.
After I added the two omissions, He told me to put them in priority order again. This is where I had a major problem. It was very difficult because I considered them all important. This is when something truly amazing happened! He told me I was dealing with the activities rather than the main issues. The three main issues are God, Barbara and me. He said I need to change how I look at things. He then told me to write down all the activities that are involved in these three areas. It looks something like this:
· God – time, devotion, The Genesis Project website, book studies, writing. · My wife – time, relaxation, recreation, family, chores.
· Me exercise, relaxation, recreation, family, Grampa Tom’s business.
Then He dropped the bomb! He said, ”You’re trying to put me in a compartment when I am involved in everything you do“. I had never realized this, at least not in this area of my life. So, I took Him out of the box and put everything else in it.
I am consciously aware He is involved in every breath I take, every thought, every attitude, every action. I’m not sure I can explain this but I will do my best. If you are ready to receive it, He will see that you do.
All my life, at least as long as I can remember, I have been a performer. As Brennan Manning says in his book The Ragamuffin Gospel, I have seen God as a bookkeeper keeping track of my activities.
Although I have been teaching for years that God is involved in every part of my life, I was putting Him in a category like everything else. God lives outside boxes. The Holy Spirit lives in me and is a part of everything I do. There is no such thing as time to God. He lives outside of it. A day is as a thousand years to Him.
So I began to understand that I’m the one who is hung up on spending time with God. He is with me all the time. The specific time with God is for me, not for Him. The writing I do in my sessions with God is for me, not for Him. The Truth of the Bible is for me, not for Him. I remember trying to read the Bible through in a year because my pastor recommended it.
Now, I believe God wants me to read His word slowly … pondering … reasoning … applying … letting it change my life. I remember the Word says to do everything as unto the Lord. Love my neighbor as myself. Help people. This is how I praise God. This is how I bring Him glory. It was an intense session and the results were amazing.
Then He told me I’m beginning to understand. That we will keep working on it. That we will go deeper with it. I can’t wait!
The Genesis Project
Tom Blubaugh 417-812-6110