Look Who’s Talking
Several months ago I started writing to the Lord. In the past, I would write a letter to the Lord when I was going through a tough time. Writing seemed to be the only way I could really get my deepest thoughts out. I have to admit that when I just talked to the Lord, at times, it seemed I was just talking and not communicating. You probably know what I mean. It has always been hard for me to keep my thoughts focused in prayer, but when I write it is different. Does it make a difference how we communicate to Him? I don’t think it does to Him. Or where? Again I don’t think it does to Him. We have sunrise services, candle light services, retreats, campfires and lots of different ways we try to make it more spiritual. More meaningful for us.
For me, sitting at the kitchen table in the quiet of the morning is my prayer closet. When I first started writing it was pretty much a one way thing. On the third day, while I was asking Him a question, the answer starting coming before I had finished. This started a two way conversation that has been going ever since. I never know what the topic of our conversation is going to be. Sometimes I have something on my mind. Sometimes He starts it after we say good morning (or good afternoon) to each other. (He has reminded me He does not live in time. It is all present to Him.) Sometimes He asks me if there is something on my mind. It is really quite interesting how it progresses. Maybe you have experienced all of this. If you haven’t, I heartily recommend you try it. It is a trip.
There is something I am to share with you from this morning’s session. This is very personal but I am willing to share it with you as He has told me to do. I have no idea who will read this or who He is speaking to other than me. First, I need to give you some background so you will understand the context and then I will simply quote the conversation. Several months ago, The Lord told me to get out into the community and meet people on the streets.
The method, I understood, was to ride on the city bus. I am to use it for running errands and get to know people in the process for the purpose of witnessing. I have done this a few times but my heart has not been in it. My last eNewsletter, TOAD, dealt with my lack of desire to do this.
This morning I was thinking of all my blessings and comparing my life now with how it was seven years ago when I found myself homeless and depressed. It is as different as night and day. I had just told Him how grateful I am. As I write, He responds to my thoughts. I do not always write my thoughts down as I am concentrating on what He is saying. What He says is far more important than what I am thinking.
“You are very blessed Tom and you are very welcome. It is time to give back son. I will give through you to many in many ways. You do not need to know who or how. You will know in eternity. For now it is not important for you to know. I know you were very perplexed yesterday. It is difficult for you to see you fulfilling your purpose, but I assure you that you are. Again, you do not need to know son. Just be yourself and listen to me. You glorify me through being yourself and all that you do. It is not all a matter of ministry. It is also about relationship. Your relationship with me. So many perform yet do not have a relationship with me. You have been one of those at times. That has changed. You keep thinking about warm weather. You will ride the bus then. This is okay although any weather is acceptable. You have psyched yourself about cold weather. This can be changed if you want. Think about it son. Life goes on in spite of the weather. Comfort is not everything. There are different levels of warmth. Not just physical. My love is unconditional Tom. No need to fear. Ever.”
“Thank you Lord. I am apparently unaware of my fear.”
“It is not always an emotional fear son. Sometimes it is just hesitation. Not wanting to do or be. Reluctant. No desire. It is all a form of fear. As Barbara said, procrastination is brought about by fear on some level.”
“You have to show me Lord. You just let me get a glimpse of it regarding the bus didn’t you?”
“Yes. You know it is there son. This is why you are putting it off till warm weather. When warm weather gets here it will be no different. You do not see yourself as knowing what to do or what to say?”
“Exactly Lord. I get on the bus and I just sit and watch. There may be a hello that slips out or a nod, but basically no eye contact or conversation. No one is there for any purpose but to get on the bus to get some where else. I see myself in warm weather getting off at different stops and waiting with people for the next bus or something like that.” “This is you trying to make something happen Tom. Your ways are not the same as mine. I just need you to be willing and available. I will bring them to you. I will give you the thoughts and the words. Trust me. I can do this. This makes you laugh?”
“Yes Lord. It seems funny to me when I write that you can do something. I think it is because I know you can do anything. The thought of you making a donkey talk just went through my mind. Am I that stubborn?”
“Yes Tom. (smiling). Sometimes. The donkey didn’t really talk. I used it as a vessel. I was the one speaking. There is a difference. With you, I give you the thoughts. You have a choice to voice them or ignore them. You have a free will. The donkey didn’t.”
“This is something to share isn’t it?”
“Yes son. Share it. Genesis.”
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Perhaps you’ve written a book, your first or even your tenth, and you’re not sure how to strategize with all the changes that are happening at breakneck speed across the ever-evolving literary marketplace. Tom Blubaugh has faced each of these questions and many more. Through strategic relationships with experts, patience, perseverance, and action, Tom has discovered and now applies and shares these all-essential literary skills and competencies.